Your first mentor meeting is a valuable opportunity to gain insights, build a meaningful connection, and set the foundation for a successful mentorship. However, many mentees unknowingly make mistakes that can hinder their progress. Here are the top five mistakes to avoid so you can make the most of your first meeting.
1. Not Preparing in Advance
Showing up without preparation is like going to an interview without knowing the job description. Your mentor has taken time out of their busy schedule to meet with you, so make it count.
✅ How to Avoid This:
✔ Research your mentor’s background, career path, and expertise (if your program is run on Mentorly, you can see all of this info in their profile)
✔ Define one to three clear goals for the conversation.
✔ Prepare thoughtful questions that go beyond what you could Google.
Instead of asking, “Can you tell me about your career?”, try “I saw you transitioned from marketing to product management. What key skills helped you make that shift?”
2. Expecting the Mentor to Lead
Many mentees assume the mentor will structure the meeting and guide the conversation. However, mentorship is mentee-driven. It’s up to you to bring direction and focus to the discussion.
✅ How to Avoid This:
✔ Set the context at the start of the meeting.
✔ Be ready to share your current challenges or aspirations.
✔ Have an agenda, even a simple one, to make the best use of time.
Mentors appreciate proactive mentees who take ownership of their development.
3. Focusing Only on Yourself
Yes, mentorship is about your growth, but it’s not a one-way street. If you spend the entire meeting talking about your experiences and challenges without engaging your mentor, you miss the opportunity to learn from them.
✅ How to Avoid This:
✔ Balance sharing your story with asking for insights.
✔ Show curiosity about the mentor’s experiences and lessons learned.
✔ Actively listen and ask follow-up questions.
For example, if your mentor shares a leadership challenge they faced, ask “How did you navigate that? What would you do differently today?”
4. Being Too Transactional
Mentorship is a relationship, not a transaction. Some mentees treat it as a one-time Q&A session or expect immediate solutions. This approach can make the interaction feel impersonal and short-lived.
✅ How to Avoid This:
✔ Think long-term. Mentorship isn’t just about today’s advice but building a meaningful connection over time.
✔ Express genuine appreciation for your mentor’s time and guidance.
✔ Find ways to give back, even in small ways, such as sharing an article related to their interests or introducing them to someone valuable.
A strong mentorship is built on mutual respect and ongoing engagement.
5. Not Following Up
The biggest mistake? Letting the conversation end without follow-up. If you don’t take action on your mentor’s advice or check in after the meeting, you risk losing momentum and weakening the relationship.
✅ How to Avoid This:
✔ Send a thank-you message summarizing key takeaways from the meeting.
✔ Implement your mentor’s advice and update them on your progress.
✔ Keep in touch periodically, even if it’s just to share a quick win or ask for guidance.
A simple message like “I took your advice and reached out to three industry leaders. I already got a response! Thanks for the push.” keeps the relationship alive and shows your commitment to growth.
Final Thoughts
Your first mentor meeting sets the tone for the rest of the relationship. By preparing in advance, taking ownership of the conversation, engaging meaningfully, and following up, you’ll not only make a great first impression but also build a mentorship that truly helps you grow.
👉 Ready to get started with mentorship in your workplace? Book a deep dive with Mentorly and build a high-performing mentorship program.